Choosing your Poison

Small and heals

Wotcha everyone,

I’m shallow. Yes, admit it. I don’t choose my characters based on their relative strengths, or even on the power they have in comparison to other classes. I don’t give a flying fu- erm, I don’t mind at all which class is supposed to be best at dueling, or is best at PvP, or anything such as that.

I generally choose a race that appeals to me, and from there a class that looks fun. Generally, the first time I do this it’s a healer. I heal, therefore I am online, or something. After that, it’s whatever appeals to me in some way, no matter how small.

However, characters have to be created, and the first choice I was presented with was Order, or Destruction. What would I be…?

I’m a gamer (rather than a gamist). Through and through. I appreciate that this is a game, where I “play” a character. Whilst I may joke about visiting fantastic worlds, and brutally butchering the inhabitants, I don’t see *any* type of computer gaming as practice for me going out and murdering a prostitute in an alley. So I don’t worry about whether people will think I’m a bad person for choosing Destruction. It’s hardly a moral choice, is it?

But Order won through, for a good few reasons. First is my background in gaming. Back when PCs were called Spectrums and Commodore 64s, I got into tabletop Warhammer. My mates got Orcs, Goblins, Elves, Dwarfs, and no-one wanted to get a human army. “Who’d be human?” an acquaintance scornfully exclaimed when a similar conversation was held a decade or so later (the irony still makes me giggle). Well, I did. It made for variety in our battles, and meant that I was the only kid in the area with a human army. Even today, I collect Empire armies. In table-top role-playing, I generally chose human characters. In online games, human is the default choice. I am a humanist, and proud!

Second is that my guild chose Order. Being in a guild means sacrifices at times, and luckily this is not one of those times.

Third is that Empire characters get the best clothes. Warrior Priests prove that worshipping Sigmar does not mean leaving your fashion sense at the temple door. Witch-Hunters look, well, Hammer House of Horror-Tastic. And Bright Wizards? Well, ok, they are a bit too ’70s glam rock for my liking, but even so, they do have a look all of their own.

Subsequent time in game just reinforced my opinion that Order was right for me. Testing out the Elves and Dwarfs meant that I shall probably have most of my 10 allotted character slots filled before the first character even gets into the game, but Empire will always be first choice.

But. And there is a big but.

Destruction calls to me…

It fits the world, at least. Chaos is a force that calls out, seductively and incessantly, to those that must withstand it. It’s been a part of the game world for… well… *ever*.

As part of our beta testing, we held a Chaos night. From level 1, we went out and did Public Quests. I chose a Zealot, and found it to be scarily good fun. I could see the role-playing opportunities screaming out at me (for those as enjoys their online role-playing), and it was great to see that rather than being “misunderstood” (looking at you, Horde boys and girls), Destruction really *are* the bad guys. Oh, and Arbitrary’s Zealot got a fancy purple dress. I wasn’t jealous. No.

The Greenskins also have their charm. They might look like they fell out of the Ugly Tree and hit every branch on the way down, before bouncing back to the top and starting all over again, but they do have a wicked sense of humour to them. I’m not going to sit here and ruin all their gags, because that would be too mean-spirited. However, it’s worth bearing the following in mind: I find that I really don’t enjoy World of Warcraft’s humour. I endure it, more than anything else. I find most of the gags to be at the same level as Mel Brooks’ “Spaceballs”. Obvious referentiality, with no real imagination, to put it posh. Cheap gags and naff puns, to be plain. Yet Warhammer Online Greenskins just seem to have fun. Their humour comes from revelling in a short, vicious life where death is plentiful, and cheap. Yes, there are referential gags in it, but at least they’re a nod to the long-term fans, as they’re from the tabletop games. And I’m constantly tempted by the shaman. Getting to wear something’s skull as a hat is… um… alluring. Strangely compelling.

As for the Dark Elves? Well, they take the term “seductive” to a whole new level. Really they are. They’re slinky, in all the right ways. And their outfits are positively scandalous at times. But entirely in keeping with the scandalously dressed miniatures. And they do have that whole “goth chic” down pat. Never mind that they really do have that whole “Evil” schtick working for them as well. They’re cruel, nasty, and vicious. Even their skill names make me wince. So that’s just *got* to be fun to play through!

So if I ever get bored of Order, I know I’ll be able to have fun with Destruction. It’s great to know that I have the option, should I wish to take it…



2 Responses

  1. It’s what you get for 1.5 years of calling me evil ;p

  2. Wotcha everyone,

    But Arbitrary… You *are* evil…


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