Balance? I don’t need no steenking bal … arrrrgh!

Wotcha everyone,

Every so often, real-life permitting, myself and a group of mates meet up to play boardgames.  Normally, we play long but involving games, that we don’t finish properly because we’re too slow and social to play fast enough.  Needless to say, fun is still had.

Tonight, we shall be playing one of our shorter, lighter games.  One of those on offer, and my personal favourite “light” game, is Pitch-Car.  For those that don’t want to follow the link, it’s like Subbuteo, but with racing cars on a track.  Obviously thought up by a genius.

Almost everyone I know who has tried it has approached the table with trepidation, come away thinking it’s a work of genius, and desperate to have another race.  It has inspired moments of envy, of awe, of sheer hilarity.  There have been times I have laughed so much I had to be reminded to breathe.

So tonight, we shall flick little wooden disks around a wooden race track, until the muscles of our flicking fingers are stiff and sore, and our nails are bruised and painy.  It’s a great game, and what’s more, because it’s just a set of identical disks with everyone racing on the same track, it’s perfectly balanced.  It’s all about the skill of the player.

Ah, “Balance”.  The Holy Grail of Gaming.  Why can’t games be balanced.  It’s simple enough, surely?  Just make everyone equal in terms of power, and that way everyone has fun.

I hate “Balance”.  If I had my way, it would be an un-word.  One with no rational meaning.  Because, in gaming terms, it has no meaning, no relevance.  Even those little wooden discs with stylised racing cars printed on them aren’t equal.  Some spin more than others.  Some are more stable.  They’re painted different colours, and that will make a difference.  We’ve played this game *a lot*.  We know, otherwise we wouldn’t have our favourite cars…

You can’t bring balance into a game which has different classes, with differing roles, skills, and the ability to use items.  That way lies madness.  Trust me, I know.  All you can do is try to make each way of playing fun, and if anything pops up as way over-powered, try to lower the power without screwing everything else over.

Besides, these are Massively Multiplayer Online games.  Not just Multiplayer.  Massively Multiplayer.  We don’t log on and take part in a series of one-on-one duels.  We form brute squads.  Warbands.  Zergs!  How can they be regulated, to ensure that each rabble has the right number and mix of characters, to ensure balance between sides?

And what about ourselves?  If I think my opponent isn’t as experienced a player as I am, should I play a bit dumber to give him a chance?  If his connection isn’t as good, should I pretend to have lag?  Should I force my pc to slowdown because he doesn’t spend most of his income on his gaming rig?

Balance.  Pah!  I remember my epiphany, when I suddenly realised that lack of balance actually made for more game than the sterile, turgid, stalemate that balance leads to.  Games were suddenly so much more fun.  I stopped caring that the other guy might have better equipment, or that his nuke did more damage than the Death Star.  I played harder, used my noggin, became a little more ruthless.  It’s not like I could do anything about the imbalance anyway.  And the returns were worth it.

Those desperate defences, the sweeping victories, the hard-won but fleeting wins.  I live for those moments.  Nobody dreams of a draw, they dream of bigger, better, more.

So I’m not worried about what the server population will be at release.  I’m not worried that They will have the uber classes, and Us will be made of fail.

I *am* worried that someone might attempt to grab my red and gold car this evening though.  She’s the best car on the track…

Cheers,
Hawley.