Amusing conversations while trying to kill Greenskins

So it’s no secret I’m a bit of a Teamspeak fan. Though, with the influx of new people for Warhammer Online, I do find myself asking a bit more often ‘who’s that?’ but I’m even starting to get used to all the new voices and accents.

We talk about all sorts of things, jobs, pets, travel. We also discuss the game quite a bit, and it does percolate back to the blog sometimes, especially when there’s been an interesting discussion about what things we’d like to add to contributions or how best to tackle a certain scenario or who is the biggest challenge to heal in the guild. Often it’s all harmless amusing stuff, but I learn a lot from my guildmates and their experience, on Teamspeak and on guildchat.

Sometimes though, Teamspeak will go a little surreal and it doesn’t quite move over to guildchat – someone will make an amusing or thoughtful comment and because we have such wits in the guild it’ll go to a completely different place.

For example, so far my favourite Teamspeak conversation has been:

Could you live solely on chocolate, and if so, what brand of chocolate would keep you alive longest?


A talented bunch

We don’t talk too much about the guild here, it’s nice to give it a little privacy. But, there is one aspect I wanted to touch on, and that’s to give a quick shout-out to all the talented bloggers/web types we have in the guild with us. So, without further ado, here’s a list of some of them:

Snark and Fury – TV, comics, reviews, general snarkiness. It’s a great read (I’ve actually re-read the Merlin post a few times).

Warhammer Geek – Now, you may have heard of this site – I certainly hope so. News, Forums, Wiki as well as the ever-popular parodies and podcasts.

Construed – A ‘critique of modern entertainment’ this includes videogame reviews, as well as a useful WAR diary that I’m learning from.

Killed in a Smiling Accident – Better at humour than us, this blog covers a ton of stuff but is recently quite WAR-focussed. Worth checking out, I’d be surprised if it didn’t raise a smile in all.

R1ft Gaming – Covers games in general as well as Age of Conan and Warhammer Online more specifically. Also loving the ‘rants’ section.

How Hardcore is your Guild?

You are walking through a forest, and see a Dragon.  Do you:

  1. Get in a store of coffee, Red Bull, and pizza before calling your guild on speed dial.  This is going to take a while.
  2. Njub!  Dragons got boring last patch…
  3. Take a few screenshots.  No-one’s posted Dragons on the guild forum before.  Yay!

You approach an Orc village.  You and your fellow guild members:

  1. Wait for the zerg.  This looks like an ambush.
  2. Crush them beneath your iron heels, before the leeches can get here.  This is your Renown!  Take it!
  3. Ensure the orc women and children are relocated to a place of safety, where they can live their lives away from the hideous face of war.

There are 5 of them, and 10 of you.  Do you:

  1. Wait for the zerg.  This looks like an ambush.
  2. Njubs! Dominate them, whilst waiting for their zerg.
  3. There’s 10 of us?

There are 10 of them, and 5 of you.  Do you:

  1. Wait for the zerg.  This looks like an ambush.
  2. We outnumber them 5: 10. Dominate them, whilst waiting for their zerg.
  3. There’s 5 of us?

You see a chicken crossing the street. Do you:

  1. Wait for the zerg. This looks like an ambush.
  2. Laugh because it’s your GM and you lured him into a low level RvR area under pretext of helping you with a quest.
  3. Rescue the chicken from the oncoming traffic because you’ve always wanted a pet.

A mob drops an epic weapon.  Do you:

  1. Link it in guild chat – it’s so cool!
  2. Njub!  I got better last week.
  3. Sell it to an NPC by mistake.

It’s 3 in the morning.  Do you:

  1. Log off.  It’s late.
  2. You can log off?
  3. Surely you mean 3 in the afternoon!

The Emperor Karl Franz is:

  1. Some NPC in Altdorf
  2. On farm
  3. My liege lord.

You plan to reach level 40:

  1. Within a month
  2. Within a week, you’ll be gkicked if you don’t
  3. There’s a level 40?

You run into someone who wants to join your guild:

  1. Can he balance a spoon on his nose? He’s in!
  2. First they have to join the feeder guild for 6 months, and there’s a three tier application form process that every newbie has to fill in. After that, the two months of 2am-3am keep guarding duty and then … maaaaybe …
  3. We have a quick in character interview at a pub in Altdorf.

What colour is your guild emblem?

  1. White or Yellow
  2. Black! (I’m Mr Black!)
  3. Purple

The perfect number of guildmates is:

  1. Half a dozen of my best friends
  2. The exact number and class breakdown necessary to beat the game
  3. There is no perfect number, as long as it’s friendly

What is the riddle of HARDCORE?

Wotcha everyone,

On the 18th of September, the metaphorical doors of Warhammer Online will be thrown open to the world (shush, you headstart players at the back.  Stop jumping about the place), and whilst War may not be everywhere, it will most likely be in the Tier 1 zones (and probably Martyr Square, somehow).

It’s one of the most fun, most cool times to play an online game.  Everyone is excited at seeing the game for the first time, and discovering all the elements of their characters skills and abilities, as well as the world around them.  I love launch days.  It’s like the world is just opened out for you, and all you can see is a grand vista of possibility.

It’s a time to forge friendships and alliances, to shout “Squeeee!” at all the cool things, and to see if that big, nasty looking mob over there wants to be your special friend…

In the midst of this are all the usual uncertainties, but they sort of add to to the frisson of excitement.  Will there be a Core Role-Playing server (hey, it’s important to me)?  Will we be hideously outnumbered, or outnumber our enemies?  Will my capital city be constantly under siege?  Will I choose the same character class as forty-seven meeeeeeellions of other players on my server?  Will someone “take” the names I’m intending to use?

Uncertainties are part of the fun of anticipation, so I can have fun mulling over these concepts over a lovely brew.

However…  More and more, I am starting to wonder about a certain gaming style that seems to be popping up more and more on forums and boards.  To paraphrase my favourite NPC phrase from Civilisation 2; “My words are backed with HARDCORE GAMING”.

Aye.  “HARDCORE”.  I could have used “Hardcore”, but it just doesn’t seem HARDCORE enough.  Just doing a couple of simple searches on my search engine of choice brought up quite a number of links to HARDCORE GUILDs, from all over the place.  I read a few of their introductions, their aims and objectives, and their ambitions towards Warhammer Online.

It certainly got me wondering.  To the extent that I am wondering what a pathetic, worm-like larvae like me is doing thinking of even pre-ordering Warhammer Online.  I’m only going to be going on for a few hours a week, doing some RvR, Public Quests, a bit of levelling, whatever takes my fancy really.

I’m not going to be playing for [insert ever increasing numbers here] hours every day.  I’m not going to want to set up a bunk in one of the keeps.  I have no urge to crush my enemies, see them driven before me, and hear the lamentation of their women.  Well, not every 5 minutes of every hour that I play the game.

I don’t even care about “server firsts”.  Does that make me a heretic?  And you know what’s worse?  I don’t even care who *gets* a server first.  I enjoy instancing, and raiding, but I don’t have to be at the bleeding edge of four-hour wipes a night to think I’m getting my money’s worth.

What is the attraction of HARDCORE GUILD play?  I’m not actually trying to take the piss here; I’d really like to know.  Because to me it seems as if to be HARDCORE, I need to level up my character as fast as possible, and then “dominate” the end-game (which is a very negative term.  I prefer “high-level game”),  by following orders, all with the aim of destroying my enemies with no mercy.

Another thing that worries me is that from the outside, it looks very scary.  To the extent that I start to think that if I want to join an group with such a military hierarchy and organisation, I could lose weight, get fit, and join the British Army.  Hell, even the Territorial Army would occupy less of my free time.  Or if I don’t want to get fit, I can join one of the many cults that are out there.  There’s a few in my area as it is, so I wouldn’t need to move far.

If anyone fancies setting me straight, feel free.  I really am interested to know what the attraction is, because all that is happening at the moment is that HARDCORE gamers and Average-Joe gamers seem to be scornfully eyeing each other up, in the same way that non-gamers normally scornfully eye us *all* up.


Beta guild advantages

I enjoyed reading the new guild highlights page. But I wonder if live servers will be dominated by big organised beta guilds who’ve had months playing together to learn the game before we get to see it. As noobs, especially casual type noobs, how can we compete with that? The guild beta just compounds this. There are going to be hundreds of experienced guilds when the game goes live. They will roll us right from day 1.

It’s a kneejerk reaction, and may not be that bad. Warhammer has lots of mechanics to encourage hardcore and casual players to play together. The public quests and the open-world RvR emphasis won’t stop people being elitist but it will give them options. There are encouragements for guilds to recruit. Maybe experienced guilds will be evenly based over factions and servers. And after a few months, we all learn to play and organise ourselves and things should even out.

But at the end of the day it depends on players. For sure I’d rather play a game that was well tested, but the price of that is that some people get a competitive advantage. Anyone else feel a bit uneasy about it?


I usually try to use the same set of names through all my gaming, it makes things easier and it’s a good way of quickly identifying friends. And yet I find myself contemplating taking on a new name for Warhammer Online, depending on the race I choose. I have it in my head that there are no decent dwarf names amongst those I usually use. So if I do end up with a dwarf, I’ll need a new name. Which has got me thinking!

I’m also a little conflicted over identifying both myself and my guild on the blog. I’m sure as the open beta, early access and game launch I’ll be commenting quite a bit about what my friends and I are getting up to, how our guild is progressing, etc. But, I’m not sure when to out the information, or whether to out it at all!

Anyone have any strong thoughts/feelings about this? Will you be keeping your character name/guild private?