First Pics of the Slayer!!!

Oh come on now, you all (by now) know I like a challenge, and so I bring you the Slayer, Book of Grudges style:

[ps. for the record I think what the owner of this dog did is pretty bleh and don’t condone it at all]

[pps. I call him Regis]


These things made me smile:

A bunch of Warhammer Online videos taken from action on Karak Eight Peaks. There’s a wealth of videos to choose from, and it’s great to have them all available. Do you have anything similar? Let us know and we’ll take a look!

And Roo, famous from DAoC days, over at Freddyshouse, has returned to verse to produce something pretty spectacular in a thread about potential Dwarf Slayers:

Young orc, der’s no need to feel glum.
Me said, young orc, kick a dorf in da bum.
Me said, young orc, ‘cos you’re in a new zone
Der’s no need to be unhappy.

Young orc, don’t get hit in da face.
Me said, young orc, knockback elves into space.
You can slay dem, and Me sure you will find
Many ways to be ded rock’ard.

It fun to slay at da F-O-R-T.
It fun to slay at da F-O-R-T.

Dey have everyfing dat you need to enjoy,
Kick da jibblies of all da elves…

It fun to slay at da F-O-R-T.
It fun to slay at da F-O-R-T.

You is green and you mean, biggest orc on da scene
You can eat all the gobbos you see …

Young orc, are you listening to me?
Me said, young orc, get some skulls on your gear.
Me said, young orc, No! Flowers make you look queer.
But you got to know dis one fing!

No orc does it all by himself.
Me said, young orc, get dorf heads on your shelf,
And just go there, to the F.O.R.T.
Me’s sure dey can rez you today.

It fun to slay at da F-O-R-T.
It fun to slay at da F-O-R-T.

Dey have everyfing dat you need to enjoy,
Compare yer choppa wiv all da boyz …

It fun to slay at da F-O-R-T.
It fun to slay at da F-O-R-T.

You can get yourself clean, you can nom a good meal,
You can nom whoever you feel …

Young orc, Me was once in your feetz.
Me said, Me was down – me’s choppa was blunt.
Me felt gobbo jokes Me was da brunt.
Me felt da uvver orcs were all cunning.

Dat’s when someone came up to me,
An’ said, young orc, drag yer arse up da street.
It a place there called the F.O.R.T.
You’ll be da big nob some day.

It fun to slay at da F-O-R-T.
It fun to slay at da F-O-R-T.

Dey have everyfing dat you need to enjoy,
You can hang out wiv all da boyz…

It fun to slay at da F-O-R-T
Young orc, young orc der’s no need to feel down
Young orc, young orc be da bestest around

Den just go to da F-O-R-T
young orc, young orc Me was once in your feetz
young orc, young orc Me said, Me was down and out wiv da glums.

Why I don’t do Temple of Isha

Don’t get me wrong, there’s a certain amount of manic frenzy about standing at an exposed flag and fighting. I enjoy that part of it, but.. from the very first time I saw the map, I can only think of one thing. First, let’s look at the Temple of Isha map:

And now onto my warped mind.. this is what I think of everytime I go into that scenario…

Yes, the female reproductive system, stuck in my head since those lovely sex education classes at school. So, it’s never been a scenario I can take seriously, and I spend more time wondering if the designers missed the likeness. When I mentioned it to my scenario group once (I’ve been kind of tentative to mention, because well.. I wonder if I’m just weird), none of them had thought of it that way… oops. It did lead to a whole scenario worth of jokes about it though! I’ll leave some of those to your imaginations.

Tor Anroc, while popular and crazy never makes my mind wander – so bring it on!

More discarded post titles

And here we go again, a trawl through the post titles we’ve had sitting in our drafts for so long we deleted them (not really, I don’t think we’ve considered any as proper posts – yet!)

  • Which hairdo for your Swordmaster?
  • Knit your own nurgling
  • Leeching for dummies – max your annoyance contributions
  • What moron domesticated cats?
  • Capturing the Tlag – A WAR Spelling Bee
  • The Good Beer guide to Altdorf
  • That’s it – I QUIT!!!!!
  • Ulthorin and Arkanin: can cross house romance ever work?
  • If PvP = pet vs pet…
  • Feed a Dark Elf a Pie Week starts!
  • Roland the Headless Organ Gunner

Things we love about the game: no. 42

Quality moments catching people on the toilet in Altdorf. Stand too close and you can hear straining noises. No really.

There were tears, but there were also a couple of laughs

Yesterday our guild got formed. For Order characters we found (what we believe) to be the best way to do this fast. Get your 6 people grouped up and get 50 brass each to fly to Altdorf – Flight Masters are at the War Camps. In Altdorf, head to Market Square and pick up the quest to go visit famous locales (Bright Wizard College, Docks, Temple of Sigmar, Emperor’s Palace). Hand in, get 25 silver each. Head to Guild Registrar and make the guild (it costs 50 silver).

Now, we were quite excited about all this, despite woes about the entire guild not being around to share the moment. So excited that we decided to give everyone invite power, so we could grab people as soon as they got in. We quickly found ourselves logging in on top of one another and going invite-crazy.

So crazy that a couple of people got invited purely cos the character names they picked matched up with forum names of our guild members. Oops. Cue much hilarity on Teamspeak as we mocked ourselves for being quite so silly.

The ‘new’ people took it really well, went to check out our guild forums, said they were cool with just being in the guild during the open beta phase. But we spent the rest of the evening laughing about it!

So, beware the perils of inviting people purely on their character name choice (we’ve now instituted a little more security to our inviting too, you need to know the ‘sekrit word’)

Whose breasts are they anyway?

There’s a certain advantage in being a female blogger. It means we can bring you this overview of the breasts in the WAR universe. So, here’s a screenshot of every female char’s breasts – clothed and unclothed (and rank 31, since we’re working with templates at the moment). There’s one from a rank 1 char in there, and I think I left out 1 set of high elf ‘naked’ breasts as the racial unclothed breasts all look pretty similar – showing clothes make all the difference.

Go on, see if you can tell which class each pic is from?

Many thanks to my husband who took all the screenshots while I was out at work and then with our visitors. He managed to capture this screenshot while working on the project – it made me laugh a lot, because the other player is clearly checking out the naked dark elf!

The big PR public quest (and competition!!!)

Our group consists of:

  • Tanks: Mark Jacobs representing the USA/Oceanic guild
  • Hybrids: Iain C representing the EU guild (EU got their tank removed, so they need a hybrid)
  • Healers: James@Mythic representing the USA/Oceanic guild, Magnus representing the EU guild – they have some rudimentary crowd control abilities
  • DPS: Paul Barnett, Josh Drescher, Jeff Hickman, Carrie Gouskos representing the USA/Oceanic guild, Mark Jacobs representing the EU guild

Stage 1: PR gets rolling (the EU guild get to design their own stage of this public quest, if it goes well, they get additional contribution bonuses)

  • Announce new and surprising dates for inviting CE pre-orders into closed beta, not just open as planned
  • Announce that SE pre-orders will also get into headstart and open beta, but that CE pre-orders will also get a preview weekend
  • Announce that 50k SE pre-orders can also get into preview weekend alongside their CE pre-order buddies
  • Invite into closed beta, open code entry for preview weekend and open beta
  • Create a play-on-the-net game to drum up further interest

Stage 2: Unstoppable object trundles onto the scene

  • End closed beta with massive preview weekend
  • Drop the “NDA is lifted” cluster bomb
  • Release new trailer, new round of interviews
  • Open beta launches

Stage 3: Ka-boom!

  • Servers open on the same day worldwide, no crashes reported

Rewards (liable to change and representing different levels of contribution):

  • Good reviews throughout the press
  • 1 million subscribers (or more)
  • Fansites and forums happy with release
  • Good reviews in some of the press
  • 750k subscribers
  • Fansites and forums mostly happy with release
  • T-shirt
  • Dress-your-own Paul Barnett doll (Bright Wizard version)
  • Tin of catfood
  • Thread devoted to you on a forum of your choice

Don’t forget, everyone contributes and has the chance of a reward! And once complete you progress to a much bigger public quest – Warhammer: Age of Reckoning. 

NB: this really isn’t meant to upset anyone, I was just half-asleep and and made a passing comment that the pre-release stuff almost felt like a game in itself.

Competition Time!

On the issue of completely fabricated public quests and in the spirit of open competition – we, the authors of the blog, challenge you to come up with a public quest.

It can relate to anything at all (pop culture, gaming, day-to-day life). Email it in to us and the winner/s will get stuff from Games Day (or tins of cat food, as they desire). Can’t announce prizes, cos no idea what we’ll pick up!

Post ideas that we discarded (so far!)

We don’t write posts on every idea we have. Some of them just wouldn’t work, and we thought we’d share a few of the titles that didn’t make the cut.

  • “What WAR can learn from Mamma Mia/Lost/BSG”
  • “Confessions of a Witch Hunter”
  • “Griefing: A Guide for Beginners”
  • “Dress-Your-Own Paul Barnett”
  • “50 Ways to Leave Your Guild”
  • “Interesting Bugs #1: The Memory Leak”
  • “How to Fake Being Female”
  • “My Personal Book of Grudges”
  • “Train your Child/Pet to Craft”

Fanboys gain recognition

‘Fanboy’ has made it into the Merriam-Webster Collegiate Dictionary as one of 100 new words added to the dictionary this year. The definition given is:

boy who is an enthusiastic devotee, such as of comics or movies

Yes, they forgot to mention video games – but still, made me smile.

For another definition of fanboy, that focuses more on the games side, check this out.